'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
