i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
