just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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