U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
