It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
