You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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