I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize