well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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