I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
