that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
