I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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