big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
