Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
