just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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