I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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