Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
