So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
