butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
