it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
