Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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