and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
