his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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