Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
