im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
