Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
