I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize