so that wasnt chicken after all
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
