sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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