I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize