Don't you send me to vm
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
