Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
