Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize