just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
