I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
