Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
