i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
