I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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