i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
