hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
