A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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