I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
