Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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