Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
