would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
