he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
