I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
