We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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