this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
