i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
