it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
