Your face is a jimmy john
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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