Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
