I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
