Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
