I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
