I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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