i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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