I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
