6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
