Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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