Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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