My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
