Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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