there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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