so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
