a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
