Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
